（この宇宙の摂理は知る由もないけれど私にはかすかに見えるー
私がいつか通るはずの道が、その道につづく階段の端が、
現れては消え私には見える）

＊天地：天と地、宇宙 ＊いづれゆく：何時かは行かなければならない
＊きざはし：階段 ＊はつかに：かすかに

Today one of my friends K died. We were roughly of the same age.
When he showed up to my party about 6 months ago, I did not
realize he was so ill. I knew, from the conversation at that time
that he had some physical trouble which doctors could not explain.
I had no chance to know how he struggled with his fate and how
he managed to keep his spiritual existence. After all, we were not
so close and I did not pay much attention to him. I did not even
know until now that he had never married.

Compared to him, I'm ridiculously healthy as far as my body is
concerned, but I wonder how I am mentally. I often think about
death these days and it has never showed me more intimate face
in my life. But at the same time, I try to avoid to think about it
deeply or to philosophize it. Only I know it's coming. It's coming
with a horde of troops to seize me as if in a Greek myth!

Is it worthwhile to talk about it with someone?