(毎朝私は死出(しで)の山路を仰ぎ見る。厳粛な山の轟きを
聞く。そして何時あの山を越えこの人生に終止符を打つべきか
時を見計らっている。その時私の最後の呼吸はさぞ喜んでくれるで
あろう)
*あさなあさな: 毎朝 *しでの山路:死ぬ時に越える山
Again I wrote about death. People say those who talk about
death or suicide will never die so easily. I wonder if it is true.
But when I think of it, my obsession for death has never been
and is not so dark. Sometimes I feel if an inevitable death ever visit
me, I'd welcome it because it will let off all my loads-my agony and
sense of inadequacy etc. It's strange that whenever I contemplate
death, my visual image is that of extreme clarity and beauty. ( Please
refer to my furth poem in this home page) Am I arrogant or incincere
regarding death and if I really face it would I kneel down and beg a
pardon? I actually do not know. One thing I know is that in not so long
time ahead I'll face it sqarely.