（貴方にどんなに恋こがれてもムダなことは分かっています。
でもわずかな望みにすがっていきるしかない私なのです）

＊うつつ： 現実 ＊かひ：甲斐、効果、値打ち＊たのむ：心当てにする

I know I'm far from being a great lover, but often I can't control the
urge for love, no matter how unreal and feeble it is to me.
I'm well aware how stupid I am but I also realize that absurdity is
a part of myself and I must live with it. Some of my friends criticize
me that I rather enjoy loneliness or unhappinees. That is definitely
not true. How much do I wish to achieve a true romance some
day in the future !