Life is difficult. It's a shame my life is full of infamies.
I've grudged that I've been treated with hatred and contempt
by others. But I fully deserve it because I've done far more evil things to
others. I've ruined at least two women's lives and lives of my children.
I've made many other people miserable to say the least, including
some girl friends as well as my parents. I was awful as a child.
I've been and am extremely self-centered and egoistic. I'm arrogant
but at the same time very weak with a strong sense of self-pity.
And this list goes on and on.... (April 14, 2002)